The Day After: Unmet Christmas Expectations
The Diary Entry
“Dear Diary,
It’s December 26, 2021. The day after Christmas. There is a heaviness in the air. It seems even nature itself can feel it - as shown by the cloudy skies and muggy thickness that comes with abnormally warm winter weather. It’s almost as if the whole world is trying to grapple with unmet Christmas expectations…”
This is an excerpt from what would be my diary. If I kept a diary. But I don’t. I just keep looking at the pile of torn apart wrapping paper on my living room floor, missing my dad. Because, like many of you, the unspoken assigned duty of picking up the discarded wrapping paper was my dad’s. And even though this was our second Christmas without him, it is the first time I have missed him in this particular way.
I never expected, at 30, to be celebrating Christmas without my dad. No, the version of Christmas I expected at this age would have involved convincing my dad that my children did not need a dog that I would just end up taking care of. But instead, my dad celebrated Christmas with Jesus - if that sort of thing happens in heaven - and we’re still sitting with the Lord about how and when we will become parents.
And you know what? On top of all of that? The homemade mashed potatoes would have been more properly called “boulder potatoes,” because they weren’t quite ready to be mashed when everything else was plated. But, alas, the show must go on.
Not Alone
It is dangerously easy to begin to think that I am alone in this… this … this feeling of disappointment the day after Christmas. It’s jarring how naturally and smoothly I am tempted to believe that everyone else had a perfect Christmas - tied together nice and neat like the perfect Christmas bow - while mine was peppered with little holes that let out joy and let in disappointment.
But that’s not true at all, is it? You also feel a little disappointed about how certain things went, don’t you? Or at the very least, even if it wasn’t this year, you’ve had that type of Christmas before, haven’t you?
I wonder…
Is it as hard for you as it is for me to admit
the disappointment birthed out of unmet expectations?
Isn’t that ungrateful? Shouldn’t I just get over it and be happy with all the things, people, and eternal security that I do have? If I really believe Jesus is the reason for the season… won’t He be disappointed with me and condemn me for these thoughts? Why isn’t Jesus enough for me?
The Plan
Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
a.k.a. - God will not condemn us for anything and being disappointed is included in this
Psalm 139:1 says, “Lord you have searched me and known me.”
a.k.a. - God already knows it’s there and He still means Romans 8:1
John 15:9 says, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.”
a.k.a. - God loves you and wants you to near Him so He wants you to tell Him everything
So, might I encourage you on this heavy day, to sit with the Lord and bring Him your disappointment and unmet expectations.
Important to note are two things I did not suggest:
Do not sit IN your disappointment and unmet expectations, eyes fixed squarely on everything that you wish had gone differently on Christmas.
Do not try to sit with the Lord WITHOUT being honest with Him. Nose to the ground fixed squarely on willing yourself to do better, attempting to “make it up to God.”
But rather, sit with the Lord and bring Him your disappointment and unmet expectations. Be honest with Him and humble before Him, as our Lord modeled for us in the garden of Gethsemane. Be bold in your prayer and slow in moving on from your time with Him. He is eager to minister to you.
The Implementation
But He wants to minister to you in a deeply personal way. So, I plead with you to actually do this if at any point you felt that you related. Telling people you’ll do something and telling other people they should do something might be a good first step, but nothing truly happens until something is actually done.
So, either put your phone down now or pause and actively decide when you will get alone with the Lord and move slowly with Him. When will you actually do this?
The intimacy with Jesus waiting for you on the other side of true transparency with Him will never disappoint.
